Man Vs. Nature

I've been AWOL for a variety of sexy reasons, but one of them is decidedly not sexy and that is that we totally have bedbugs. We've had the occasional bite and been in preemptive lockdown mode since January, but that is not helping, and we've finally convinced them to send the exterminator again tomorrow. My room is now furnished with only a bed, which is actually kind of calming in a minimalist, Buddhist sort of way, until you remember that the reason is not simplicity as a virtue but tiny bugs that live in the parquet floor you thought was so pretty when you looked at the apartment. I think I've actually been remarkably level-headed about this, given that I have given up furniture, personal effects, and all clothing that does not fit in a two week rotation stored in garbage bags, but I've spent the past five hours prepping for the exterminator and just bought a teddy-bear shaped jar of animal crackers and accidentally stress ate the larger portion of its head. The bugs get nothing but reconstituted flour tonight.