I lied, my layover is actually in Abu Dhabi and not Dubai. Whoops! To be perfectly honest, I'm only halfway conscious of my surroundings, and I could just as easily be in Detroit. The important thing is that I'm almost home, but also that I finally saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull on the plane, and it is insane. It's like George Lucas did free association (El Dorado! Cate Blanchett! Aliens! Red Scare!) and then tricked someone into giving him like tens of millions of dollars to commit it to film. I also watched the musical episode of Scrubs with Stephanie D'Abruzzo, an episode of Frasier, and an episode of the Office, plus Smart People, which has a stupendous cast but was sort of obnoxious. We get it - sometimes smart people are also neurotic and lonely. So are dumb people, actually. This is not groundbreaking; Woody Allen has shown us this about once per year for the past three decades. Sarah Jessica Parker was likable in it, though, so I guess that's a cinematic achievement. By contrast, Dennis Quaid is still the least sympathetic person in any movie, ever.
...So who wants to take bets on whether the crippling airport glitch that swept the UK tonight will strand me in the Middle East? Before you do, a word of caution: I may or may not be the unluckiest person alive. The odds are very good that I will be stranded, my bags will be lost, the bus will break down on the way to Oxford, and I will run out of money somewhere by the Thornhill Park and Ride and have to become a 19th century urchin. Okay, place your bets.