We Are All Bree Van de Kamp

I'm on a hyperdomestic kick lately, which may be a form of Stockholm Syndrome brought on by being trapped at home writing for most of the past week. Despite the fact that I cannot cook at all, Sydney and I decided to make cookies on Valentine's Day and they turned out awesomely. We were brainstorming our favorite types of cookies and Sydney was torn between snickerdoodles and ginger cookies, and I would probably kill a person for frost-your-own cookies, so we just fused them into frost-your-own snickerdoodles with crystallized ginger in them. The fact that they turned out well is kind of a miracle, because we didn't have any sort of measuring cups or spoons, and the cookie sheet I brought was too big for the oven and had to be inserted diagonally and flipped halfway through baking to smooth the avalanche of molten dough that was slowly goozing down the pan. It ended up being a sheet of soft cookie, which we then attacked with heart-shaped cookie cutters and frosted with green and purple frosting. (I take no responsibility for the colors, that was all Sydney.) The first batch was all internally gooey and the second batch was kind of perfectly fluffy and round, and they were more or less the best cookies ever.

And then on Monday, we had to get rid of a bag of carrots and we like, hey, how about carrot soup? I kind of don't think this is how you make soup, but we blended up a bag of carrot sticks, put it on the stove and threw in a splash of milk, a dash of olive oil, a shitload of nutmeg and cinnamon and a lot of sugar, and it actually resembled soup. (I think it helped that we served it in bowls with grated cheese and toasted pita bread to eat it. You can pretend anything is soup if you camouflage it correctly.)

And then last night, I made s'mores with Team Awesome for two hours before killing half a bottle of wine and deciding that it would be an excellent idea to make cookies for a party tonight because I had meetings all day today, and this is how Sydney and I ended up making orange cinnamon cookies with dark chocolate chips at midnight. (We had measuring cups this time, but we were like, ewww, that's a lot of butter, let's substitute a banana! and crap, we only have a roasting pan, let's make a cookie cake! Magically, it worked, and now I have a totally unrealistic view of how easy it is to cook delicious things and I am totally making huevos rancheros this weekend.